“When the impending nuclear holocaust finally happens and all Earth’s natural resources are controlled by fast-food chains in a proto-feudalist society, you’ll need to pick a side to fight for. Delivery and take-out account for more than 76% of the total pizza market for a reason. I appreciate that Pizza Hut pioneered the fast-food pizza buffet, but only a sociopath would eat a sit-down meal at Pizza Hut in 2017. I wanted to do my pizza analysis in the most natural environment possible, which meant it had to be delivered. There are a couple ground rules for the comparison. The only thing I care about when ordering cheap delivery pizza is whose coupons were most recently in my mailbox. I’m coming into this thing completely neutral-the Switzerland of entirely manufactured pizza-chain pissing contests. When the impending nuclear holocaust finally happens and all Earth’s natural resources are controlled by fast-food chains in a proto-feudalist society, you’ll need to pick a side to fight for. You can waste your breath boosting Papa John’s, or Little Caesar’s, or Blaze all you want, but this was and always will be a two-horse race.

In 2016, the two chains made up 69% (nice) of the total gross sales of the top 10 pizza companies combined.

Ann Coulter as one of history’s all-time great rivalries. Domino’s will go down alongside Magic Johnson vs.

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